In January’s edition of Scientific American MIND, David DiSalvo wrote an article entitled “Are Social Networks Messing With Your Head?”

He raises some interesting points about Social Networking sites, how they are used and how they can often fall short of a users expectations. What I found very interesting was his and others observations that these sites can actually increase stress and lower feelings of self-worth. Something that many of us who use them on a regular basis might find counter-intuitive.

I Hate The Social Media A List

There are plenty of rant posts out there, that boil down to this basic statement. Someone somewhere doesn’t like a prominent Social Media/Social Networking “A Lister”. Whether its Robert Scoble, Chris Brogan or some other person. It often struck me that many of these rants were the result of jealousy. I know Chris Brogan in particular had a rough patch late last year with attacks on him. These were always a surprise to me, as having met Chris several times in person, he is one of the nicest guys you could meet and definitely not a “Its’ all about me, celebrity”. Reading DiSalvo points to a potential reason for all this angst, the people making them are lonely.

DiSalvo quotes a study by John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago in which two groups of subjects were shown images while undergoing an MRI. One group typed themselves as Lonely, the other non-lonely. The group whose brains showed a higher response to pleasant images of people and situations were those who were non-lonely. Those whose brains showed a higher response to unpleasant images of people and situations were the lonely ones.  DiSalvo states that “Lonely people have a heightend sense of social threats. Snubs, insults, alienation & gossip all elicit higher levels of stress in the lonely”.

I Want More “Friends”

Those joining sites like Twitter, Facebook & LinkedIn to “connect” to more people may in fact be doing themselves more harm than good. SoHo workers & Stay At Home Mom’s in particular often make statements like “Twitter is my window to the world”, ” I love the support I get from my Facebook friends”. However, in reality, seeing other build larger networks, and having more conversations with those people who are perceived as being “influential” may actually heighten feelings of loneliness.

Laura Freberg of the California Polytechnic State University defines loneliness as “the deficit between what you want & what you have” and goes on to say “Social Networks can make this worse”.

The key here is that those who use Social Networking tools to support their existing friendship circles do better than those who center their friendships on these sites. It seems that meeting in real life is always going to win over just meeting online. Which is why Tweetups, Social Media conferences, and social sharing tools like Foursquare are becoming increasingly popular. Don’t just tell me what you are doing, come do it with me.